I’m 15 and currently in a long distance relationship, and I love this girl with all of my heart. But I get depressed very easily. She kept me happy for almost 3 months, but a problem I have is that when I actually AM happy, I will start to feel depressed and I’ll start to blame all of the things that used to make me happy. But i know that I really don’t want this to end. But if I don’t get help soon, I’ll end up messing this whole relationship up, and I really don’t want to do that. Please help.

A: You’ve figured out something important already. The problem isn’t in the relationship. It’s in yourself. Your girlfriend can’t make you be happy. A relationship is happy when both people bring a strong sense of self to it.

I agree that you need some help dealing with whatever is causing your tendency to sink into depression whenever things are going well. Please consider talking with your parents or a school counselor or another adult you trust about seeing a therapist to sort this out. Too shy to do that? A place to start might be the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. Counselors are there 24/7 to talk to young people who are struggling with all kinds of personal problems. If you’d like to find out more about Boys Town before you call, go to their website at www.boystown.org

You made an important first step toward taking care of yourself by writing to us at Psych Central. I very much hope you will take the next steps so you can have happiness in your life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie