Hi George. I am glad you wrote. It must be difficult to feel that your friends may not like you. It is unpleasant to experience negative feelings. I am concerned that you incorrectly believe that your friends don’t like you. My concern has to do with your self-esteem. It may be that you don’t feel good about yourself and you may be assuming that because you don’t think highly of yourself that other people may not either. The belief that others may not like you may have led you to the point where you have stopped interacting with friends, hoping they will miss you and ask you to join their friendship circle again. If they do not initiate contact with you then you may have taken this to mean they don’t like you. In your mind this may make you believe that you are unlikable.
In reality it may be that your friends believe you have stopped communicating with them because they think you don’t like them. Remember they don’t know what you are thinking or why you’re behaving a certain way. All they can do is react to how you act toward them.
I don’t think you have a “serious disease.” I think in large part your issues may be related to low self-esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself then it makes sense that you don’t believe that other people will value you.
It would be very helpful if you had someone to talk to about how you’re feeling. You need a mentor or somebody who can offer you advice about how to handle negative thoughts and emotions. A therapist could teach you these skills. A therapist could also help you deal with low self-esteem.
As far as the paranoia incident you’ve described it could have been nothing. As you said after the incident occurred you realized it was silly and it never happened again. As I mentioned above it does not appear that you have a serious disorder. I think you could benefit from a mentor who can teach you how to deal with negative thoughts and emotions more effectively as well as help you gain self-esteem. You should consider talking to your parents about seeing a counselor to help you address these issues. I wish you luck.