Hello and thank you for your question:
If I understand your question, it sounds as though you are not taking your medications. If you have been diagnosed as bipolar (the old name is manic depression), there might be a real problem with not having professional help. Many of my bipolar patients feel as though they can get by without taking meds, and the truth is, some actually can.
Here’s the problem, however: Many cannot. Bipolar disorder is a very hard disorder to control on your own. Eating the right things and exercising certainly is great for anyone, but it sometimes isn’t quite enough to control the issues that arise with this illness. And it is actually an illness for which there is help. There are websites devoted to bipolar disorder, there are therapists who specialize in it, and there are medications that could manage both your anger and possible mood swings as well.
Unfortunately, what I tend to see in my practice are patients who begin to feel better in the spring and stop taking their meds. They are often OK until early summer when they become agitated and can swing into the hypomanic or manic phase. That’s when they often get into trouble with relationships, school, work, and addictive behaviors such as going on spending sprees or gambling. These problems can ruin a person’s life. I would honestly hate to see that happen to you.
The short answer to your question, is yes, I think you deserve to get the care you need to have a normal life. You owe it to yourself and your fiance. You can have a great life, but only if you don’t gamble with your mental health.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Diana Walcutt