You’ve tried medication but have you tried therapy? Medication can be helpful for managing your moods but it is sometimes not effective when it comes to changing behavior. The medications you’ve tried have made you feel like a “zombie.” Many report that same experience. Trying a new medicine may correct this problem.
It often takes trial and error before you can find a medication that works best. At this point, you know that the Zoloft and Seroquel combination isn’t helpful. I would recommend that you speak to your doctor about finding a different medicine or combination of medications. Remember, it may take a while to find a medication combination that is satisfactory to you, has manageable side effects and improves your symptoms. This process could take weeks, months or even years.
Medication may provide you some relief but I wouldn’t recommend using it alone to manage your symptoms. You mentioned that oftentimes you feel like screaming or crying. You also tend towards self-harm and wanting to attempt suicide. As you correctly recognize you have a daughter to care for and your behavior may be negatively impacting her.
At this point you seem to have a maladaptive way of handling stress. The good news is that you are capable of learning a new problem-solving skill set. You may need someone to teach you these skills. It would also be beneficial to address the traumas you’ve experienced such as the rape and abuse. You’re dealing with many issues, past and present, seemingly without any help or support. Therapy is the ideal place to address all of these issues.
I don’t think you should put off getting help because as you’ve noted, you’re feeling as though you are “not right mentally.” It is also important that you seek assistance because your daughter needs a mentally stable mother. My recommendation would be to seek professional help from a mental health counselor and to consult your doctor about trying a different medication.
Lastly, if you are feeling suicidal go to the hospital or call 911. You could also call 1-800-273-TALK. That’s the number of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Counselors are available 24/7 if you are feeling upset or suicidal. Their website can be found at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.