Despite your fear, you seem open to getting help. You recognize there are problems with your behavior. You’re able to pinpoint what they are and you sense that your symptoms are diminishing the quality of your life. You know things could be better than they are. You’re insightful and you care about the direction of your life. You want to change. These qualities make you a good candidate for therapy.
The only thing holding you back at this point is fear. I’m wondering why the fear? Did you have a bad experience in the past with therapy? Do you feel like you shouldn’t need help? Some people believe that they should be able correct their own problems and when they can’t, they feel like a “loser” and just give up. Others are “too proud” to go to therapy. There are also some who do not believe in therapy or that a “stranger” could really help. If any of these categories describe you then unfortunately, you’re only prolonging your personal suffering.
All of the problems you’ve described are very treatable. They are some of the most common reasons people enter therapy. I’ve known many individuals with similar problems who sought treatment and were able to recover. By going to therapy you could recover as well.
The only way to deal with your fear is to face it. That means seeking help even if it’s uncomfortable, unpleasant and you don’t want to. There are plenty of things in life that we don’t want to do but we must do them anyway, for the sake of our health and well-being. It’s part of being a responsible adult.
As you mentioned, you have your “whole life ahead of you.” Depression and the other problems you’ve described may prevent you from living the life you want. That’s exactly what you don’t want to do and by not seeking treatment you risk diminishing your life in a manner that should be unacceptable to you. Don’t let fear hold you back from getting on with your life.