This must be hard on you both. Like you, I’m very concerned about your girlfriend. This cannot be a hppay way for her to live. On the basis of your letter, I can make only a couple of guesses. It’s possible that your partner has a dependent personality disorder. She is so frightened of being out on her own that she relies on her family to get her through the day. It’s also possible that she is significantly depressed — or both.
Meanwhile, the two of you are in your twenties and living with her parents. If you want to establish an independent life, you probably need to get a place of your own. If your partner can’t stand that idea and also refuses to get some help, you have a difficult choice. Is this relationship really what you want? If so, are you willing to continue to organize your life around your sweetheart’s fears?
My best suggestion is that you make an appointment to see a couple counselor to help the two of you sort out your feelings about being adults and being in a relationship. A professional counselor will also be in a position to assess what is going on with your partner.
Even if your girfriend won’t go at first, please go yourself. Once you get started, your girlfriend may have the courage to join you. Meanwhile, you’ll have the opportunity to think about where you’re headed in this relationship.
I wish you well.