I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. The concern is that you’re alone, without appropriate help trying to deal with serious issues. You have a range of symptoms that include depression, believing that people are listening to you think and then laughing at you. You are also experiencing muscle stiffness. In addition, you wrote about being abused by your father and then sexually abused by your mother’s boyfriend. These are all very serious issues that may need to be addressed with the help of a mental health professional.
If your mother’s significant other is still abusing you then he should be reported to the police immediately because it is illegal. Even if it happened some time ago it’s not too late to report him to the police. When the abuse occurred isn’t relevant. What is important is that it was wrong and against the law.
I am not quite sure what you mean by your mother not believing in “psychobabble.” I take it to mean that if you asked to go to treatment she would tell you “no” because she has a negative opinion of therapy. That’s unfortunate if that is true. This may be your assumption. It may not be true and I would encourage you to ask her. You may believe that’s what she would say but if she heard about your symptoms she may be willing to help you into treatment.
Is there another adult that you can go to for help? Is there a friend’s mother or father who may be able to help? What about a member of the church? Is your father still in your life? Perhaps your father would be more open to the idea of treatment than your mother. You could also consider a mentor or a leader at a Boys and Girls Club, YMCA or another local community group. You could also ask for help from your pediatrician or primary care doctor. These are the avenues that you may have to resort to if your mother refuses to help.
Decide which adult in your life may be able to best help you. I would not recommend that you ignore your symptoms. They are not something that should be ignored and they need treatment. Please consider writing back and letting me know how you’re doing.