Hello and thank you for your question:
It sounds like you are really worried, want what’s best for your wife, and I can’t blame you. Several things come to mind; while I deeply respect the medical community, it is not perfect and can miss diagnoses. There are neurological problems that are hard to diagnose early on, and there are disorders that can appear to be something else.
I won’t try to make a medical diagnosis, that’s not my field, but I would strongly suggest that you encourage your wife to see a psychiatrist. NOT because she’s “crazy” but because he/she might be able to put the symptoms together for a good diagnosis. Remember, psychiatrists are medical doctors first and they can help in a way that a psychologist or therapist cannot.
While your wife is clearly suffering from anxiety (which can indeed cause the physical problems you indicated in #3) many of these symptoms may not go away until her anxiety is treated. Therefore, whether you hurt her feelings or not, you should suggest that the two of you go to a professional who can truly get to the root of her problems, and help both of you return to a normal life.
If she were to have a broken leg, would she get help? There’s no difference here; her problem clearly has physical parts to it, although it may have some hidden psychological issues as well. She can be helped, but only if she is willing to let the right people help her.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Diana Walcutt