What you do is get some help from a professional. Although it sounds like your boyfriend is an important support for you, there is a limit to what he can do. You don’t want to become so dependent on him that he feels like he’s your only lifeline. That isn’t healthy for either of you or for your relationship.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1 -800-273-TALK) at any time of the day or night. There are counselors available 24/7 to listen to you, to give you support, and to help you find a counselor in your area. You can also go to their website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org to learn more about them.
If possible, please don’t leave your parents out. If they are at all open to the idea of seeking outside help for problems, they can help you get the professional assistance you need. If they are loving as well as strict, they can also give you important support while you work on getting past the depression.
If your parents don’t understand your need to hang out with friends and to see your boyfriend, please talk to your school guidance counselor. Generally the guidance department is very familiar with that kind of problem. They can be helpful mediators for teens and their folks.
I wish you well.