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I Wish I Was Born A Gay Man

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Ever since I can remember I always wished that I was on the male end of a sexual relationship.  I am very sexually attracted to men, but I wish I was a man also.  I want to date a man.  But I want to be a man as well.  I want to be a gay man.  When I masturbate I can achieve orgasm without even having to touch myself, I just do the motion of stroking my imaginary male genitalia and that works just fine. I know for a fact this is how I feel I’m just having some trouble knowing what to make of it. 

I Wish I Was Born A Gay Man

Answered by on -


Hello, and thanks for your question. While it’s not a terribly common problem you are dealing with, it’s not so rare that you can’t get help with it. What you have described is Gender Identity Disorder and there are therapists who specialize in this and can help you with it.

You can find a therapist at Psychology Today and/or you can consider a sex change, although those are harder to come by in this country than others. Sex change procedures are costly and very time consuming, and you would have to go through counseling before any clinic would do the surgery.  If you choose to fly to another country, consider the dangers of surgery in areas that are not controlled by laws, nor supervised for cleanliness.

They were doing sex changes (or “reassignments”) at The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine many years ago while I was working there, but here’s the reason they stopped: many of their patients were not happy with the change and were at higher risk of suicide since it didn’t “fix” the core issue, that is, core self image problems. I would suggest you find a specialist in your area to work through your questions before considering more permanent changes.

I hope this helps,

Dr. Diana Walcutt

I Wish I Was Born A Gay Man

Diana L. Walcutt, Ph.D.

APA Reference
Walcutt, D. (2018). I Wish I Was Born A Gay Man. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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