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Boyfriend is cutting everyone off

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From a 15 year old: It had been two weeks since I had talked to my boyfriend because his conection was lots,since it’s a long distance relationship,and he is very depressed,not his usual self,and he admitted being depressed.I tried to get him to talk to his mom or councelor,but he thinks they won’t understand. He has very few friens,so he has barely anyone to go to,but now he’s isolating himself,not wanting to talk to me,and when I asked what was causing this,he semmed to get angry and barely wants to be with me anymore.I’m really worried about him and I told him I will be there for him always,but he just doesn’t react much. I’m really worried about him and decided to seek advice in this.Help if you can,please!

Boyfriend is cutting everyone off

Answered by on -

A.

You are right to be concerned. Your boyfriend is withdrawing from the people who can help him and admitting to being very depressed. Meanwhile, you are at a distance from him and unable to communicate. You must be sick with worry.

You were right to suggest that he talk to his mom. It doesn’t matter if he thinks she won’t understand. She might. Even if she doesn’t quite understand, she may still get it that he needs help. Since he won’t go to her, you need to do it for him. I know this may feel like a betrayal. I know that you may worry that he’ll be mad at you and not speak to you if you call his mom. But better to live with him being angry with you than to live with the knowledge that you could have helped and didn’t, especially if he hurts himself. You need to turn the worry over to the adults who may be able to do something. Then you can focus on just being a loving support.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Boyfriend is cutting everyone off

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Boyfriend is cutting everyone off. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2009/01/31/boyfriend-is-cutting-everyone-off/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.