Hello,my parents put me on anti-depressants about four years ago, but they seem to have had little effect, even with a higher dosage, but my parents think that I only have an anxiety disorder. I feel very deppressed, but I know that whenever I am physically ill, my parents dismiss it, telling me that they feel worse, or to suck it up, etc. The deppression has gotten increasingly worse, and I have contemplated/attempted suicide, but a new and stranger thing has begun to happen, I have begun to feel like some…thing takes over and I feel compelled to do certain things, or like I am just really deluded. For example, I once believed that my arms were made of plastic and proceded to attempt to remove them. I made two or three deep cuts before the gush of blood brought me somewhat back to reality, and not wanting to be commited, or to embarrass or ashame my parents, tried to mend my own wounds. I am really getting frightened. I would appreciate so much any help you can give me regarding how to find a doctor, or if there is any treatment for such a thing, or if I really do have a problem, I mean loads of people have deppression, why should I be whining about it? Thank you so much.Am I Whining or Do I Have Depression?
Am I Whining or Do I Have Depression?
You are not whining nor are you overreacting. It seems that you may have depression. Depression is a serious disorder that needs to be treated. If you’re at the point where you considered suicide then treatment is absolutely necessary.
Also concerning is the feeling you described of being compelled to do things against your will. This feeling is seemingly beyond your control and may be indicative of a possible developing psychosis. This feeling led you to attempt to cut off your arms because you thought they were made of plastic. The fact that you actually thought your arms were made of plastic suggests a break with reality. It is one thing to believe that your arms of made of plastic but it became much more serious when you attempted to remove your arms because of your belief. I am curious whether this attempt to remove your arms was related to your thoughts of suicide or whether you thought they should be removed because you determined they were plastic.
Based on the content of your letter I would definitely recommend that you seek treatment. The treatment could be in the form of talk therapy or medication or a combination of both. Your parents are wrong when they dismiss your request for help. They are wrong to believe that you are “only” suffering from anxiety. Even if you are “only” experiencing anxiety treatment would still be necessary. You could benefit greatly from treatment and I hope that you consider getting help.
As for finding a doctor or a therapist you could either ask friends or family or call several mental health professionals on your own. If you do call a number of mental health professionals, discuss your symptoms with them and ask whether they have treated anyone with similar issues. Make an appointment with those individuals who you felt comfortable speaking to over the phone. You could also call your insurance company whose number is commonly listed on the back of your insurance card and ask which providers you are permitted to see within your plan. These are all ways you can connect with a mental health professional. Please consider getting help. These are not issues that you should dismiss or minimize. Thanks for your question.