Your boyfriend’s problems are much too big for you to handle on your own. You have enormous heart but you don’t have the experience to give him all the help he needs. I’m glad you talked with his doctor. I hope you’ve also talked with his family. The more people on his team, the better. His mom should talk to his doctor about what signs to watch for that should trigger getting him to a hospital for an evaluation. Since you are at a distance from him, you need to have a system in place for alerting his family if you think he is going to hurt himself. When someone’s life is at stake, the rules of confidentiality simply don’t apply.
Right now, it sounds like he has you doing more work than he is. He isn’t taking his medication regularly. He isn’t enlisting a therapist to help him. He puts you in the scary position of being the only one he’ll confide in. Although you are doing everything you can to help, you may inadvertently be getting in the way of him getting needed treatment. He thinks talking to you is all he needs so he isn’t motivated to get professional help.
I’m not suggesting for a minute that you desert him. I am suggesting that you spend less time trying to draw him out and focus instead on encouraging him to do the things he needs to do to get better. That means taking his medications, talking to a therapist, learning more about his illness, and doing everything he can to try to make a little progress every day instead of handing you all his pain. Seeing a therapist is nothing to be ashamed of and doesn’t mean he is “crazy.” Seeing a therapist is like going to a dentist when you’ve got a toothache. He wouldn’t try to fix tooth pain on his own. Why should emotional pain be any different?
It would probably be a good idea for you to be talking with a therapist too. You deserve to have the support and some ongoing advice. I certainly hope he doesn’t follow through on his threat to commit suicide but if he does, you’re going to need someone to help you deal with the loss and not blame yourself. You’re doing everything and more that a girlfriend can do.
I wish you well.