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When he drinks, she’s the target

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Q from American teen: i’m 15 ad live with my father who drinks and every time he gets drunk i am always the target of his anger i was wondering can you tell me a way to get out of being his target ?

When he drinks, she’s the target

Answered by on -


This is such a hard situation. You are too young to live on your own. You can’t make your father quit drinking. And he’s hurting you, if not physically, certainly emotionally. You aren’t totally helpless, though. If we were talking in person, the first thing we would do is figure out if there is any adult in your life who can speak to your dad about how he is treating you. Then I would try to connect you with a local chapter of Alateen. Alateen is an organization for children of alcoholics. They can offer you support and some practical help about how to stay out of your dad’s way. If there is no meeting locally, you can find them on the web. Go to for more information.

If your dad loses control to the point where he hurts you, you absolutely should tell someone so that both of you can get the help and support your need. Your doctor or a school guidance counselor or a teacher can help you. You could also call the hotline at 800-621-4000 for advice.

No kid should live in fear of her own dad. I hope you are able to find some support.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

When he drinks, she’s the target

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). When he drinks, she’s the target. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 23, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.