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Why does my boyfriend say I’m not worthy?

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Q: My boyfriend and I were together for almost four years. We had our problems like any couple, but we’ve managed to get through it. He has been a little stressed at work and a serious problem happened in his family. I was there for him by listening and being supportive. One day, I started looking for apartments so we can live together. He started asking why an apartment and not a home. We had discussed this before and he denied speaking about it completely. Then, he says he doesn’t want to ever marry me and I wasn’t worthy of marrying him and he kicked me out of his apartment. Why, after so many years of being together, did he say I wasn’t worthy of marrying him?

Why does my boyfriend say I’m not worthy?

Answered by on -

A.

It’s especially hard to deal with a break-up when if feels so out of the blue and unfair. I’m sorry you have been so mysteriously sent out of your boyfriend’s life. I can only guess that he is taking his stress out on you. Maybe he can’t change his work situation or what happened in his family and he is feeling out of control of his life. So he takes charge where he can and makes you the target of his anger and his feelings of helplessness. That’s just a guess, based on minimal information. I could be entirely wrong. The person you really need to ask about this, of course, is him! If he invites you back into his life, please take it slow. You need reassurance that he can deal with stress without hurting you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Why does my boyfriend say I’m not worthy?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Why does my boyfriend say I’m not worthy?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/05/19/why-does-my-boyfriend-say-im-not-worthy/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.