My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 7 months now. We have been sleeping together for the past year or so prior to moving in with each other. He and I have known each other since we were 12 and he was then and still is one of my best friends. I’m now 27. He has 1 child from a previous relationship, I have none. I had a miscarriage last fall with his child. It was very painful for he and I both, but we’re still trying. We get along very well on a daily basis, generally. We talk alot and spend alot of time together.
It seems as of late that he loves me more on the weekends. He’s happier. Tells me that he loves me several times a day, always very affectionate, generally just what someone “in love” should be. However, Monday-Friday… he’s just so crabby and sometimes mean. Not very sweet at all. He knows what he’s like during the week, we have talked about it. And then as soon as Monday comes around, he’s back to the bad mood.
It makes me feel awful! I don’t know what to say to him. I love him so much, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. But sometimes he’s just not himself. Not the man I fell in love with. He says he’s not like that, he’s not being mean to me, or on rare occasions…he’ll say he doesn’t mean to be that way.
How can I learn to deal with this?Where does my boyfriend go emotionally during the week?
Where does my boyfriend go emotionally during the week?
You didn’t tell me what your boyfriend does during the week that is different from the weekend. I do have a guess: Weekends tend to be playtime. That’s when he is most relaxed and able to enjoy your relationship. But when he works from Monday to Friday, he feels the full weight of his responsibilities. He already has a child to support. The two of you are trying for one of your own. I wonder if he is really ready to be the father of two children but, because he loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you, is hesitant to talk to you about it. That might be what is making him irritable and out of sorts.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. You probably want to replace the grief of the miscarriage with the excitement and joy of another pregnancy. But it may be that you need to slow down and have a serious talk about how you two are going to support a family.
Your boyfriend isn’t happy for most of every week.You are unemployed. The two of you haven’t married. I think you two have some work to do to make a stable home before you bring a child into the world.
You’ve known each other a long, long time. It’s time to move your relationship to a new level of intimacy. Be as honest as you can with each other about not only your dreams for a family, but what you are each able and willing to do to make those dreams possible. I think you’ll both feel better if you bring these issues out into the open.
I wish you well.