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Boyfriend Threatens Suicide

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now but I have many plans in life that i want to do. My boyfriend dosent want to do any of it. He has no plans in life and all he ever wants to do is “spend time with me” yet he is constantly putting me down, yelling, name calling and making me cry. im trying to do my hsc now and im finding it very hard to juggle him and foucus on school. Every time i try to end it he threatens to kill himself, he’ll try to throw himself in front of cars and slit his wrists.

ive talked to his parents about it but they hate him they tell him to go die. We were really good for a long time but i’ve come to terms that this just isn’t going to work and i cant handle to pressure he put on me. Ive seeked councilling but it didn’t work and i can’t afford anything now and his parents won’t help. i can’t deal with this, what can i do? im not an emotionally stable person myself i wouldn’t be able to live if he killed himself. i need out but i need him to stay alive too. what can i do?

Boyfriend Threatens Suicide

Answered by on -

A.

The way your boyfriend is treating you is not about love. It’s about control and emotional blackmail. You are right to want out of the relationship. I’m sorry that his parents aren’t more helpful. They are probably feeling helpless to help him at this point. And I’m very, very sorry that counseling didn’t work out for you. You certainly need some support and some practical help.

I found a website called “Reach Out” that is based in Australia. Go to http://au.reachout.com/

I copied this from the website:
“Reach Out! is an initiative of the Inspire Foundation (www.inspire.org.au). The mission of the Inspire Foundation is to create opportunities for young people aged 16-25 to change their world. By “their world”, we mean whatever is real for them. This could be struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, wanting to do something for their local community or simply experiencing new ways to learn and grow. Anonymous and available 24 hours a day, Reach Out! serves young people, in particular those who are geographically or socially isolated, who may not be comfortable seeking professional help, or who are unsure about where to find the help they need in their community. ” They have a helpline especially for teens at 131 114. Please call them for advice.

Another resource for you is the Suicide and Mental Health Association International. Their lifeline in Australia is 1800 198 313. (I’m sorry I don’t have a way to call these numbers to check them out for you. I can only encourage you to give them a try.)

Meanwhile — I want you to know that you are not responsible for your boyfriend’s life. I know that may seem easy for me to say. I’m not watching him be in such pain. I’m not listening to his threats. But it really is true. He is responsible for the decisions he makes, no matter how hard he tries to throw that responsibility on to you. Do some research and find lifelines he can call. Then hand him those phone numbers and tell him that you certainly hope he will take care of himself but you can’t love him more than he loves himself. Then please, please take care of yourself. You need to do your own personal work and become a more stable person so that you can someday make the kind of loving relationship you deserve.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Boyfriend Threatens Suicide

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Boyfriend Threatens Suicide. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/03/11/boyfriend-threatens-suicide-2/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.