I don’t think you’re insane. I think you are having a normal adjustment reaction following some very big changes. Even when change is generally good, it can still be stressful. In your case, there are multiple changes, some good, some difficult. Your feelings and behavior make absolute sense to me. It’s not at all unusual for a person going through a situation like yours to have a mixture of anxiety and some depression as well as what feel like normal periods. In fact, it might help you to know that adjustment reactions are the most common reasons that people go find a counselor.
Let’s review the situation: You left your dad. Even if he was a pain, he’s still your dad and you probably have mixed feelings about your relationship with him and how you left. You left your school and everything that was familiar. You left your two most important peers (your best friend and your boyfriend). You are making new friends which is always a challenge when a teen moves to a new place. You probably don’t yet feel close enough to any of them to confide in them. And you are figuring out a new school with new teachers and new standards. I would also guess that you and your mom are having your ups and downs as you figure out how to live together. Whew! No wonder you feel kind of shaky right now.
Here are some suggestions for what to do: You didn’t mention your relationship with your mother. If you feel she can be sympathetic and helpful, I hope you will talk to her about how you are feeling. She moved once too so she may have some ideas for how to feel better. Self care is especially important in times like this. Make sure you are following routines, getting enough sleep, eating well, and getting some exercise. Finally, I hope you will seriously consider taking your problems to a counselor instead of taking them out on the people who love you. If you’re not sure how to find a counselor, ask your mom, the school nurse or guidance counselor, or a teacher you feel good about. A counselor will give you some support and will help you learn new ways to cope with both your inner feelings and the outer realities.
You do need to figure out for yourself how to manage your feelings when you are stressed. Even though your boyfriend is going to join you come summer, you don’t want to be so dependent on him for your stability that you overburden your relationship. I strongly suggest that you use this next few months as a time to learn to take care of yourself and to build your own emotional strength.
I wish you well.