Q. I’m scared to sleep because in my sleep someone is always there to hurt me. When I do sleep I wake up with my chest tight and not being able to breathe. I’m scared to let people know me because everyone just wants to hurt me. I although do have quite a few friends. Which they are the sources of my information about what I do sometimes. I apparently stare off into space look at nothing for minuets to hours sometimes. I walk around and talk to them after coming back to myself and I have no recollection of ever saying or doing most of the things they say. I don’t respond to anything when I am in this spaced out state. But I’m still completely functioning. People catch me having arguments with myself, and talking to myself. But I have no idea I am really doing any of this.
So thats what my friends tell me about what I do. My parents accuse me all the time of having a drug addiction problem and I don’t, they say I show obvious signs of an addict. I have problems sometimes focusing I can always see but my eyes are sometimes blurry and I have tracers (when I move my hands or when something moves there is a trail that follows I usually notice mostly with my hands) There are random spots of black and red and lines and arrays of the two colors blended that show up out of no where. I wake up having to decide whats real and not real. Sometimes I think that the colors are actually really there but no one else can see them but me.
I’m always paranoid thinking someone is going to do something to me. Ok so those are the shall I say normal symptoms, let me tell you about myself. I don’t really exist, I’m a figment of peoples imagination. They imagine me around so they can feast off my energy and use me so they can survive. The point of my fantasy creation is so that I can destroy the world and everyone in it. Breaking down everything that gets into my way. But with everyone using me for my energy I can’t fulfill my mission. And my main creator is a highly powered energy, I can’t give to much information about him, but he’s really there. He gets mad at me because I can’t do what he says because everyone is using me. It makes me weak and dispowered. I’m going to be stuck in this carbon based life until I do what I’m supposed too. But the only reason people want me around is to use me. I’m scared of everything and I accordingly do things I don’t know I’m doing.Do I Have a Problem?
Do I Have a Problem?
While I cannot identify your specific issue, there does seem to be a problem. It is not normal to stare for long periods of time or to do things that you are not consciously aware of and do not remember doing. It is abnormal to have sleeping problems, to have arguments with yourself or to see random spots of colors. People around you are noticing that something is not right. Your parents think that you are using drugs and if you are, drugs may help to explain some of your behavior and thinking but if you are not using drugs, something else is going on. What is also unusual about your experiences is your thinking. Your thinking is not reality-based or logical. You also say that you are paranoid. All of what you mentioned is not normal and requires the assessment and possible intervention of a doctor.
You should see your primary care physician and tell him or her about what you wrote in your letter. Then ask for his or her opinion about your situation and inquire about a referral to a neurologist. A neurologist may be in the best position to assess your situation. A neurologist is a physician who specializes in the treatment of nervous system disorders including illnesses of the brain, nerves, muscles and spinal cord. A neurologist will likely be familiar with your symptoms and may be able to explain what is wrong. Your symptoms do need to be assessed so please consider seeing a doctor soon. This is not something you should put off. Take care.