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Gay and Married.

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THE ISSUE I AM ASKING ADVICE ON IS THIS:I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR JUST OVER FIVE YEARS,AND I AM GAY. I HAVE NEVER HAD A ENCOUNTER WITH ANOTHER MAN,BUT I JUST KNOW I AM. I STILL LOVE MY WIFE,BUT I CAN NO LONGER KEEP THIS BACK FROM HER. THIS WILL BE VERY,VERY,HURTFULL AND I AM LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN,AND I WOULD COME OUT AT THIS POINT IN TIME. I HAVE CLINICAL DEPRESSION,AND BIPOLER AND CANNOT WORK BECAUSE OF MY ISSUES. PLEASE,PLEASE,I NEED ADVICE AND FAST! THANK YOU!

Gay and Married.

Answered by on -

A.

Please take a deep breath and slow down. I know you are feeling desperate but hurrying this process will make it go badly. You need some support and some practical help. I hope you are getting treatment for the mood disorder. That’s the place to start. Please talk with your therapist about your dilemma. If you don’t yet have a therapist, please consider finding a clinician who is sensitive to sexual identity issues. Talk over how to approach your wife with sensitivity and love. Done well, you may be able to keep her as a good friend. You also need to talk about the many, many decisions that go with coming out, especially in a small town. With good support, you can come through this transition feeling whole and strong.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Gay and Married.

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Gay and Married.. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/01/22/gay-and-married/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.