Q. I’m not really sure where to start. I’ve been emotional since I can rememeber, but lately and I mean like the last 2 years or so, I have been feeling even worse. I’ve lost friends, I’m on the verge of losing my boyfriend and we have been together six years. I am constantly sad and crying or thinking everyone is out to get me. I read books and try to become the person I was reading about. I am lost in my own reality. I hear the voice of myself telling me I will never be good enough and it tells me things I know are bad, like my boyfriend leaving me or people leaving me or dying. I am constantly worrying. I always think someone is out to get me. I know it’s not right. I try to blame it on all the drugs that I did in the past… I try to change and it goes away for the longest six days. But after that I am right back to tears or angry like never before. I just can’t get a handle on anything. And it is tearing me and my family apart. I haven’t seen a doctor. I’m just scared I guess. I don’t want to end up in a mental institution. And that’s what I am afraid they are going to tell me.Feeling Lost. What Can I Do?
Feeling Lost. What Can I Do?
I am sorry that you are feeling so much distress lately. You are dealing with so much alone. I know that you are worried about what will happen at the doctor’s but there is nothing to be afraid of. It is much more difficult to take on these issues alone, as you are currently doing. Based on the fact that you can only get six days of relief at a time, it’s really in your best interest to seek outside support.
Doctors and counselors are there to help you, to assist in relieving your suffering. It is what they are trained to do. I know people who thought their lives were over before they finally made it in to seek help. Their lives were so much improved when they decided that it was their right to seek help and end their everyday suffering. In many cases, their decision to seek help saved their lives. Please consider going in to the doctor or seeing a counselor and telling him or her what you wrote in this letter. Bring a trusted family member with you if it would make you feel more comfortable. I cannot make any promises but it is extremely likely that you will feel much better after you seek outside help. Please take care. I wish you luck.