A couple of weeks ago, my father died after a long battle with congestive heart failure. A few days later, I went to visit my boyfriend of 7 months, seeking comfort. Also, I wanted to share with him a DVD of a short film I’ve adored since I was a child, which I’d told him was very special to me.
We had sex briefly and then he treated me to his end of lengthy telephone conversations with a couple of friends for most of the rest of the evening. At one point, I simply left. He called and talked me into coming back, though it was rather against my better judgment I really felt I deserved better treatment than this, and indeed, that anyone would. He continued as before and I slept on the sofa.
In the morning, he apologized for being inconsiderate. I thanked him for that, though I felt he was rather minimizing his lack of compassion; apologies are difficult for him, and I did really appreciate it that he offered one. However, I remained hurt and angry that he’d chosen to treat me in such cavalier fashion just when, quite literally, I needed him most.
In the few days since then, he’s been very supportive by telephone, but hasn’t acknowledged in any way that I might still be hurt or angry, nor made any effort to make amends. Finally I brought it up today. He said he doesn’t feel bad about this at all and that my “idiosyncratic response” is an overreaction. It is perfectly true that sometimes I do overreact. I do not think that this is one of those times. What do you think?