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Should I Stay with My Boyfriend?

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He smokes pot, tells me sorry i am not perfect like you. He only does it about once a month and on vacations. 2-Calls me his mother, when i find out about thing he doesn’t want me to know about. Like when i catch him smoking pot or chatting online with ex’s, He tells me i will get over it and they are just friends. That i don’t really know what is going on, so i say well tell me then but he doesn’t.3-Chat on MySpace, msn and txt’s ex’s and girls he works with, when i ask him about it he gets angry and yells at me. He tells me it’s not important and i should mind my business and leave it alone. If i keep pressing he locks me out of the computer, go smokes pot or just ignores me until I give up asking. 4-He ignores me when i ask him any sort of question; it could be what do you want for dinner? i have to ask 3-4 times before he will even look at me and then I will get mad and scream.

We have been going out off and on for 6 years and when he behaves this way i move and leave him. He will stop doing these things and come back begging me to be with him. The longest time we were apart was for 2 years and i stayed away, wouldn’t take his call or emails. He contacted me and told me everything i wanted to hear. That he had time to grow up and stop these bad habits. At first it was great he was communicating with me, spending quality time together, hanging out with his friends, but it’s been a few months since we’ve moved back in together and it is slowly coming to light that he is still behaving in the ways I listed about. When we don’t live together everything is great but as soon as we move in together its like he realizes I got her and that’s depressing. What’s going on and why? should i just pack it up and walk away like i usally do?

Should I Stay with My Boyfriend?

Answered by on -

A.

Only you can know if you should leave him…again. If he always winds up acting in the same manner that you describe- treating you badly, using drugs, talking to his exes and other girls then I am not sure why anyone would want to stay with him, or return back to him. So why do you?

You have to ask yourself why you keep tolerating his behavior. He is clearly disrespecting you. Why? Because he can get away with it. Many people would never stand for this type of behavior from a potential partner (or anyone else). Not once and certainly not over and over. Where in your history did you watch someone tolerate poor treatment by another and never do anything about it, or keep returning to it? Where did you learn it was acceptable to be treated in such a manner? It is you that keeps bringing this man back into your life and if you are dissatisfied with him, it’s time to move on and find someone who is truly worthy of your time and love. You do deserve someone better. Good luck with your decision.

Should I Stay with My Boyfriend?

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Should I Stay with My Boyfriend?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/12/13/should-i-stay-with-my-boyfriend/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.