Since I was about sixteen, I have had a lot of problems with experiencing intense, irrational emotions. I may be in a good mood, then become absolutely furious at some small occurrance. When I become emotionally irrational, I tend to make very impulsive, often negative decisions. I do things such as lash out at people close to me, go to the casino, spend money, indulge in new hobbies, whatever strikes my fancy at the moment. Afterwards, I tend to think obsessively about what I have just done, then become either sad or angry depending on how justified I felt my behavior was. Sometimes I am very pleased with myself say I end a friendship, for a few days I may think about how much better off I am, but eventually when I have no one to talk to I begin to regret it or lay further blame on the other person for not fixing the situation. But in the long run, it just does not seem like a good way to live life. I am constantly starting things that I quickly lose interest in, and I feel just generally unstable. I am intelligent, and I like to think “quirky” but I have had friends tell me that I am unpredictable, and I can be vicious. I have been on anti-depressants before several kinds, and nothing seemed to work. I don’t have health insurance, and though I went to see a psychologist and a counselor, they did not offer much help. I really don’t know what kind of steps to take from here.I Recognize That I Have Destructive Behavioral Patterns But How do I Fix Them?
I Recognize That I Have Destructive Behavioral Patterns But How do I Fix Them?
First, I want to say that your insight into your own behavior is remarkable and brave. Many people face similar issues regarding their behavior but have a difficult time pointing out or admitting their faults. It is also often the case that they do know that their behavior is inappropriate. You’re intelligent and insightful and because of this, you’re at a very good place psychologically to begin therapy with the right therapist.
The best way to correct this problem is to find another therapist who can help you. Not all therapists are created equal. Some are excellent. Many are mediocre and some can actually make a person’s situation worse. Search for one that you like and feel comfortable with. Call around to many therapists, at least 10, and talk to them over the phone. Ask their opinion about your situation and inquire about whether they have treated others with similar issues. And keep searching until you find one who can actually help you make progress with your problem areas. You know well what is bothering you and what areas need to change for you to live a happier and more stable life. Now all you need is a competent therapist who can assist you in this change. Keep searching and do not stop until you find a good one. Hope this helps. Good luck to you.