Your don’t need to figure out what is wrong with your husband. You need to protect yourself and your children. You also need to help the kids understand that the violence they have been observing for their entire lives is not normal or acceptable in a loving relationship between married people or between parents and their children. Otherwise, they are likely to repeat these behaviors in their own marriages some day.
Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 TODAY. You and the children have been living under this reign of terror far too long. There are counselors available 24/7 to help you figure out how to keep you and your children safe and how to maintain custody. Their web address is www.ndvh.org. Computer use can be monitored. If you fear that your husband will find out that you are contacting the hotline, use a computer at your local library or at the home of a friend.
If part of the reason you have been immobilized is that you love your husband: The most loving thing you can do for him is to prevent him from hurting or even killing someone. He does seem to be in the grip of something that is beyond his control. Once you and the children are not sharing a household with him, you may be able to pursuade him to get the help he needs. That means working with a psychiatrist and a therapist to address the rage that he is barely able to contain.
I wish you well.