Q: A while back I told my therapist through email I have had a plan to kill myself since I was around 12. I am now 21. She hasn’t really brought it up, and in a way I want her to. I want her to help, but I don’t know how. Once you create a plan, how do you ever just “forget it”, it’s always there and any time I get stressed, my mind feels like it laughs because I have a ‘perfect’ plan to just escape. It scares me…I told my therapist I have a suicide plan.
I told my therapist I have a suicide plan.
It’s time to bite the bullet and tell your therapist about your plan face to face. Maybe since you have had it for so long she just thought you were giving her historical information. Or maybe it has just slipped her mind because you disclosed it through email. I can’t explain why she hasn’t brought it up again but I do know that what you get out of therapy is your responsibility. A therapist is only as good as the information they have to work with.
If you feel like you want help with this issue then you need to ask for it. Having a plan does not mean that you will ever commit suicide. Many people have learned to live with chronic suicidal thoughts but it is important to have safety plans in place for when life gets more difficult. It is also important to learn what triggers your thinking in this regard. I can tell by your question that you are ready to deal with these thoughts in a more direct way so you can put them to rest. Your therapist is there to help so let her. I wish you luck.