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How do I get my husband to get into therapy?

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From a massage therapist: My husband and I are in dire need of therapy, both individually as well as marriage counseling. We both have issues that need dealing with. He has a lifelong history of depression. I need help coping with his depression, as well as his marijuana addiction and numerous affairs, which needless to say has me a bit depressed as well. He says he won’t do marriage counseling until I get some individual counseling (he has not started any therapy yet either). I say we can certainly benefit from both of us starting individual counseling as well as marriage counseling at the same time. What say you?

How do I get my husband to get into therapy?

Answered by on -


I say it doesn’t matter who goes to therapy first. You and your husband are wasting valuable time with this argument. The person you have control of is you. Drop the fight and get yourself into therapy with someone who does both individual and couples work. Tell the therapist that you want to set the stage for couples work by coming in initially on your own. You and the therapist can then decide how best to invite your husband in.

The way I see it, the worst thing that will happen if he doesn’t join in is that you at least will get some long overdue help. You are a healer in your profession. It’s essential for you to get some healing of your own if your work is to have any integrity.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

How do I get my husband to get into therapy?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). How do I get my husband to get into therapy?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 25, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.