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What can I do about fearing my husband’s death?

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Q: My husband and I just retired a couple of years ago and even though I’m only in my late-50’s I have started worrying about getting older, my health, and his death; he’s 7 years older than I am and both of us are morbidly obese. We moved to this neighborhood when we retired and I don’t really have any friends here, since I don’t work anymore my work friends are gone and I’ve never had any children of my own. While I have excellent relationships with his sons, they’re not close/parental ones as they were grown when we married and their mother is still alive and in the area too. I don’t know whether to work on health, lifestyle (how to make friends?) or my fears. I just started graduate school and I’m afraid I’ll just do schoolwork like I have the last 5+ years and try to ignore all problems.

What can I do about fearing my husband’s death?

Answered by on -


If you don’t already have a therapist, I would suggest getting one. All the goals you mentioned are worthy and important. You can work on them all if you learn to prioritize and break things down into smaller pieces. Making new friends is always great but keeping in touch with old friends is just as important. Just because you don’t see them at work and have moved, doesn’t mean they stopped being your friends. Nurture those relationships so they will see you through tough times. Start working on your health today, not tomorrow! If you aren’t around, nothing else matters. Consider finding a personal trainer and/or life coach to help you with this. Not only do they specialize in this stuff but it helps when someone else holds you accountable. Lastly, it is quite normal to start having death anxiety as well as thoughts like “what is the meaning of it all?” after a major life change like retirement. Talk about it, read about it, embrace it and then you don’t have to be afraid of it. Hope this helps. Good luck.

What can I do about fearing my husband’s death?

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). What can I do about fearing my husband’s death?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 18, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.