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Why Do I Act This Way?

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I have been with my wife for 6 years now, we have been married for 1 year today. In the past every time my wife and I would fight turns out she would try to find a ex boyfriend of hers. This past thanksgiving she found this guy on the internet and started talking to him, she lied to me about alot of things that went on with then. Well come to find out he came to the town where I live and went to where she works but she says that she told him that he needed to leave because it would cuase problems. Later i find out she sent him pictures of her, well lets just say that they were pics that a married person dont send to someone. Anyway she said that she has stoped talking to this guy and that she wants to be with me but for some reason i cant seem to believe her even when ive seen the proof myself. We tried counseling and it didnt seem to help. I feel like a bad person for the way that I am to her and I want to be a better person but when we are together and doing good its like i see somthing or hear a song and i get mad at her even if she didnt do anything. My counselor said that I have depression and should see a specialist but i havent yet, could pills really help with this problem?

Why Do I Act This Way?

Answered by on -


The reason you are feeling the way you do is that your basic trust in your wife has been shaken. I don’t know if you are depressed or not. I do think you are more angry and hurt than you and your wife are allowing you to be. If you are truly clinically depressed, pills might help you feel a little better. But there is no pill that will repair broken trust. That takes honesty, expressing feelings, lots of talk, and lots of time. Your wife needs to find ways to reassure you that she is really, truly committed to your marriage. And you need to find ways to truly forgive her for betraying your trust.
If the counseling didn’t help, it may be that the counselor wasn’t the right person for you or that you didn’t give the counselor enough information to go on. I hope you will consider trying again. It’s very hard to do this work alone.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Why Do I Act This Way?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Why Do I Act This Way?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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