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How do I tell my Mom about past cutting?

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hey, i am a 15 year old girl and i am having a huge problem. I was recently at a church retreat. The older kids get to give these “talks” to the group. They talk about problems and how they got through them and closer to God. Well when a girl gave her talk it really got to me and i started crying. I could totally relate to a lot of things she said. She talked about havng no self esteem, no self confidence, past cutting, feeling unimportant to the world, and parents making her feel bad– those r all the things i struggle with to. So later on i decided to talk to her cuz she was also my room mate. Well i didnt know what to say so i just lifed up my selve to show her. I have not cut for 6 months but i have marks. SHe just said its gonna be ok. I told her never mind i cant talk about this. SO i got up and left cuz the stress was to much. She was the first i ever told. Well later that night the youth minister came up to me and asked me to walk with her and basically what it came down to was that my friend told her and she told me i have to tell my mom or she will. I really can’t tell my mom. I explained to her i don’t do it anymore but she thinks i might cuz its in my history. Also because my family is moving she thinks i need to talk to my mom about my feelings. I’m nervous about the move. I dont like changes that much. my mom won’t care. It’s too late anyways.We move in 2 months. Also now i am failing a class. My mom freaks when i get a C and now i am getting an F. It feels like my world is falling apart and i don’t know what to do. but the point of this letter is about telling my mom. How can i tell her? What would i say how would i say it? How will she react? Bad right. scream and yell most likely. Maybe there is a way out of this? Please please please help me. Thanks.

How do I tell my Mom about past cutting?

Answered by on -

A.

First – Slow down, take a deep breath, and settle yourself a little. Whatever happens, you’ve already done three hard things and you didn’t fall apart. You told the roommate. You talked to your youth minister and you wrote to me. Those are big, big steps. Stop for a minute and give yourself some credit. Okay?
Now for the next step. You are still having lots of troubles: You are failing a class. You are scared about moving. Your self-esteem is low. You don’t have confidence that your Mom is on your side.
I’d say you need some help talking with your mother for it to go well. You have a youth minister who already knows what is going on. Maybe you could ask her to talk to your mom with you. Yes, your mom should probably know about the cutting. Yes, she will probably be upset. But the very good news is that it really is in the past. The focus of this conversation needs to be on the present and future. All of you could talk about ways to help you cope with the move and things you could do to maybe get your grade up a bit. Most important, you could also talk about how to improve your relationship with your mother. She sounds pretty stressed out too. Maybe there are ways you could help her out so she’s not so on edge. With some help, maybe you two could be better friends and a support to each other while you both go through this difficult transition.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

How do I tell my Mom about past cutting?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). How do I tell my Mom about past cutting?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/07/how-do-i-tell-my-mom-about-past-cutting/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.