A lot of people say it but i mean it. My parents hate me. I can’t do anything right and they tell me so. Im adopted and i never had a problem with that until i was about ten. As soon as i stopped doing every single thing the exact way they wanted it done, i was wrong. I hear it every day. They tell me im wrong, im lazy, im fat (which i am, im very overweight for my age but they don’t need to tell me) they tell me im ugly and i’ll never have a boyfriend. They tell me i can’t do anything right. They say that they regret the day they saw me and the wished they’d never adopted me. The don’t respect my personal space, they don’t want to talk about anything. I can’t get them to have a conversation with me about how i don’t feel good when they say things to me like that. They hate me. I can’t find comfort in them and they think i’m lying when i say that i feel depressed or sad. they never beleive me, they never trust me, they say that im evil and stupid and wrong. Why do they hate me so much? What can i do to make them at least tolerate me again.
I wish I could tell you why your parents treat you as they do. I can only guess that they feel overwhelmed by the job of being parents and find it easier to blame you than take a hard look at themselves. It sounds like you’ve tried to talk with them. You say you are willing to work on the relationship. But they aren’t meeting you half way. Since you are only 14, you have a number of years to go before you can be on your own. It would certainly be better for all of you if you could find a way to make your relationships better in the meantime.
I think you do need some help to get your parents involved with fixing the problem instead of just blaming you for it. Please consider talking with your school guidance counselor, your doctor, your clergy, or a favorite teacher about the situation. Maybe one of them can meet with you and your parents to talk about referring you for some family counseling. I looked up the therapists in your city and discovered many people who help families with teens make their relationships better.
It would probably help if someone told your parents that they are not alone in feeling unprepared for what it means to parent a teen. Lots of parents struggle with it. With some coaching and understanding, most parents and teens can have a respectful and loving relationship even as the teens grow up and become more independent. I wish you all well. Dr. Marie
My parents hate me and I want their love.
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My parents hate me and I want their love.. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/04/08/my-parents-hate-me-and-i-want-their-love/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.