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I want to leave but she threatens suicide.

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My girlfriend and I met online and chatted for about a year and then I moved the whole way across the country to live with her. Everything was great on the internet, but once we moved in together, things changed. For the first year and half I was in denial about the way she treated me, but for the past 5-6 months now she treats me badly but I can’t blaim because she was emotionally abused by her mother since she was 12.

I have lost interest in this relationship, I mean I still care for her and love her, but we don’t have the same goals anymore and I just want to go back to my family and have a different life. This is my first serious girlfriend too. So it is hard to even tell her I don’t think we should be together, I did once and she literally picked up a knife and sat in the kitchen and said she couldn’t live without me so she would kill herself and begged me for hours to be back together with her. I don’t know what to do, I just don’t feel happy in the relationship anymore and want to move on but I don’t know how to do it because I worry about her killing herself and I just don’t want to see anyone die, especially her.

I wrote down Pros and Cons about staying here and the Pros part maybe had 4 things listed on it and the Cons had about 20. What should I do?

I want to leave but she threatens suicide.

Answered by on -


I think you know what you want to do but you’re scared to do it. Your girlfriend is blackmailing you with threats of killing herself. This isn’t love. This is manipulation. You’ve already decided this relationship isn’t for you. Sadly, your girlfriend would settle for a captive rather than someone who really wants to be with her. You need to leave and she needs help.

Please call the folks at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They have a 24-hour, toll-free service that is available to anyone in suicidal crisis. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. You can talk with them about what to do if your girlfriend again threatens suicide. The call will be free and is entirely confidential.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I want to leave but she threatens suicide.

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I want to leave but she threatens suicide.. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.