Q: Hello. My problem is this…my husband doesn’t like sex. I have been married for 5 years. My husband is an ex-heroin user and is now in methadone treatment. Personally I feel that his past and current drug abuse is what is causing the problems in the bedroom. When we first started dating, like most new couples, we had sex all the time. The amount of sex dwindled a lot before we were even married. Now we have sex maybe 5 times a year, and that is after I spend a week or two trying. I am tired of trying and I need some advice on what the next step should be. My husband has no problem getting an erection, the problem is he has no desire to have any kind of sex. I don’t think the subject even crosses his mind. Is the problem his drug use? Is there any kind of prescription that he can take to up his sex drive? Help.
– sexless in Florida

A: There are many things that can affect someone’s sex drive, some are medical and some are psychological. I would suggest first that he have complete physical and ask that they check his thyroid and testosterone levels. Both of these can affect sex drive, mood, energy level and many other aspects of our health. I would talk to his doctor and his addiction treatment provider to see if his current treatment and past use could be contributing to the problem, however, you suggest that this has been a problem even prior to the marriage. It is likely that he has some unresolved psychological issues that need to be addressed – as well as relationship issues. Have you tried couples therapy? Many couples have different levels of sexual interest and activity. It is important to communicate openly about these in order to work toward a compromise that you can both live with. I wish you luck.