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My husband spies on me.

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Does marriage mean you have zero privacy? We have been married for 7 years. I first found out he spies on me after our first year of marriage. He looks on the computer to see every place I visit on the web etc. He continues to do this and I do not feel it is fair that he invades my privacy. He has gone so far to say that he finds it strange I have a password on my email account?? I had email before I married him so by marrying him I no longer have my own email account? To my knowledge most everyone married or not has their own? This invasion has made me feel like a prisoner almost because it goes beyond that. If I don’t answer my cell phone all everytime he has called I get questioned… What does this mean?

My husband spies on me.

Answered by on -


What it means is that your husband has serious issues around trust. I don’t know what has made him so fearful of abandonment. I do know that the very things he is doing to keep you close are putting distance between you. Of course you have a right to some privacy and some personal space. But if you are fighting about that, you won’t get anywhere. The two of you need to deal directly with how to give him the reassurance he needs while still acknowledging that you are each separate people as well as partners.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My husband spies on me.

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My husband spies on me.. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 18, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.