Q: From an 18 year old boy: My girlfriend of 2 years has always been there for me. Sure we have our ups and downs, but who doesnt. For a while, I got kind of bored with our relationship and really didn’t care. Well, I really wish thatI never had done that b/c she cheated on me. I could have easily let her go right there when she told me, but I really wanted to give her another chance. So for the past 2-3 months, things have been great. Until, 2 days after Christmas, She decides that she thinks it would be best if we took a break. She thinks that I need to do my own thing and not worry about her nagging me about it, but, I got onto her myspace page and found out that she was talking to the person she cheated on me with. They talked about how they wish that he was her “little secret” again. As you can amigine, this really hurts me. It makes me think that She just wants someone else. I am so tore up about this and I need advice on weather or not she will ever want me back.(we were so close that her parents are scared that they lost me. Her dying uncle gave me a Christmas card that said, “Im so glad we found you. Your the greatest guy that ___ has ever been with. We all love you so much. Thank You.”)How do I know if she wants to get back with me?
How do I know if she wants to get back with me?
You two have been together since you were only 16. It sounds like you both have had times when you wanted to explore other relationships. I know it hurts to be the one being left behind. I know that when things are good, they can be intensely wonderful. But here’s the thing: Your teen years (and into your twenties) are a time when it is important to explore a number of relationships. You and your friend are each figuring out what you do and don’t want from a partnership and what kind of person is the best fit. The girl’s uncle and oarents are doing you both a great disservice by having too much of a stake in how things turn out at this stage in your lives. Although I’m sure they mean well, it’s unfair pressure on you both.
From what you’ve told me, I think it’s important for you two to take a break and date other people. Maybe you’ll each find someone else who is more on the same wavelength. Or maybe you’ll come back around in a few years and rediscover each other. Either way, you’ll be making a more mature and informed choice.
I wish you well.