It is really, really, really not your fault. You didn’t stop him because you were shocked, confused, and afraid. You are depressed because you are feeling helpless and hopeless in the situation. You are absolutely right to be looking for some help. Services in your state are organized by county. Please write again and let me know where you live (just the county is okay) and I will try to find you the help you need.
Please do contact me.
Dr. Marie