Q: Hello, approximately for the past 4 weeks I have been having
sexual thoughts. They first began with members of my family, then they turned into thoughts of male friends. Although I have been in many heterosexual relationships and I have no desire to lead a homosexual lifestyle, the thoughts continue to linger. They subside occasionally but then return when I begin to think. They have also caused me to question my attraction to women, although I have acknowledged many times that I want to be in and continue relationships with women. Is there any advice that can be given?

A: It is difficult to tell you exactly what is going on. For one thing the issue hasn’t been going on for very long and the other thing is that you say you are 17. One of the tasks of adolescence is to become aware of and possibly explore your sexuality. Therefore, this could all just be a phase you are going through and it will go away, or it could be the first sign you have had of bisexual or homosexual feelings. Most people do not “choose” to be gay. Why would you willingly want all the struggles involved in that lifestyle? So it is quite normal to be in denial or to suppress these feelings when they first appear. I’d say just keep an open mind and time will tell. If the thoughts become too intrusive or disturbing in nature, I suggest you find a good therapist to talk to about them. Good luck.