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Q: My boyfriend and I of 8 years have decided to separate. We have a 2 year old daughter. How do we handle this sort of thing, both for us and her? We are being very civil and actually have never gotten along so well! I am having doubts that we are making the right decision!

A: This is really not something I feel I can answer thoroughly in this forum. There are so many issues that are relevant when you decide to end a relationship when children are involved. I would suggest that you find a good family therapist in your area and go in for some sessions to help you navigate the situation in the best way possible. Some attorneys are also trained as professional mediators and can also be helpful. You may want to look for local support groups and find books to help you such as The Good Divorce. There are several good children’s books on divorce and separation that you may find at the library or local bookstore. Research shows that kids from broken homes do the best when their parents get along and cooperate with each other so at least you have that going for you. Take your time and be very thoughtful in all your decisions. I wish you all luck.


Answered by on -


Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). Separation. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.