Q: I am 13 years old. I live with my grandmother and grandfather. I know I am severely depressed, I want to die. I feel that I am a burden to my family and that they don’t need me. I want help but I don’t want my family to be embarrassed or hurt in the process. I’m scared that if I ask my grandma for help, she won’t do anything or that she will get mad at me. Everyone at school hates me. I know this because they tell me so everyday. I have no purpose for life anymore and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. Last year I made up a story about a suicidal dream at a doctor visit so maybe she could help. I took the Beck depression test and I was way in over my head. I went to a therapist that my doctor suggested. At the appointment the woman spoke with my grandma first and this made her quite upset. I felt even worse. When she was done talking with my grandmother she turned to me and asked me if I was suicidal! Of course I lied to her and said no because my grandmother was right there. I couldn’t let myself cause anymore pain. When my grandmother left the room and we were alone I was filled with rage at the therapist for what she had done and I couldn’t talk to her. I didn’t trust her. I still need help but I need a way to get it without causing others any more pain, please help me.

A: Obviously things are not getting better by trying to handle things on your own. You definitely need to get some professional help no matter what it takes. You need to be honest with your grandparents about how depressed y0u are and that you want to talk with someone outside of the family. I can guarantee that any family member would rather face the fact that someone is hurting and in need than having to deal with losing them to suicide. Losing someone you love to suicide is 0ne of the hardest things to deal with so please find a way to get help. If asking your grandparents doesn’t work, then I suggest talking with your school counselor or your doctor. In some states teenagers are legally allowed to find a therapist on their own without parent permission. It is important to find a couselor who you feel comfortable with. “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” You can request to meet with them alone after they have met with your grandparents. Depression can sometimes by caused by a chemical imbalance and some people respond well to medication. It is not your fault that you feel the way you do but you can take steps to help yourself. It also sounds like school is not a good place right now either. Maybe you can get involved in a local church youth group or any other group or activity outside of school that could be a safe place with new faces. You are at an age that you need to have some friends. Life is too lonely without people who understand us. Please keep reaching out until you start to feel better.