Q. I completely screwed up today and i need help. i cut too deep and i need stitches. i am scared to go in, i am scared they will make me stay locked in the hospital. i start a new job tomorrow as a nurse, my first job as a nurse, in a clinic. i don’t want to screw it up. i can see the vein just below where i cut. i think, if i cut just a little bit more, it would be that easy…i don’t want to die, i just don’t want to deal anymore. anyway, i have many other cuts around this deep one, and i’m so afraid of judgement and being held against my will. and if i can’t see the vein, it won’t be so tempting. I am all alone, i don’t have anyone to call that knows and could go with me except my husband, and he freaks when he sees this…he is mean. and, this is so much worse than the others. What did I do??? please help – i don’t want to hurt myself like this anymore.
A. You need help right away and I would advise you to go immediately to the emergency room or call an ambulance. I understand that you are frightened of being held against your will but when you are hurting yourself to the degree you are, inpatient treatment may be recommended. Perhaps if you were briefly hospitalized, you can have time to think things through, get on a medication to help you stop your behaviors and be referred to counseling that you definitely need. If you do not want to be held against your will, sign yourself in and stay for a short time at least, to be evaluated by a doctor or psychiatrist. You could not start a job in the condition you are describing. Please get help immediately. Please keep me informed on how you are doing after you seek immediate help.
Remember this. You once felt happy. Perhaps it was a very long time ago. You know what it feels like to be happy and you can be happy again. If you try, if you seek the help you need, if you take responsibility for the mistakes that you are making, then you will find the happiness and contentment that you deserve. Have faith.