Q. I have always been a sensitive caring person. One of the ways people describe me most is sweet. I try to not hurt anyone’s feelings in anything I say or do. I can honestly say I always think before I speak. My main difficulty is that I get hurt and or angry very easily. It can be over something as simple as someone I know passing by in a car and not waving. I always internalize these things and automatically assume I have done or said something to make them angry, or that they don’t like me. I try to rationalize to myself that I am being too sensitive, and try to consciously think of ways to handle situations like this differently, but my old pattern of thinking always happens. I need guidance with this because I am spending my life hurt and angry, and I am also modeling this behavior for my two small daughters.

A. Would a sweet person be angry? Is the sweetness a facade? Wouldn’t a sweet person “turn the other cheek”? It’s ok to be hurt; it’s not ok to be angry. Believe it or not, your hurt comes from a weakness inside you, a feeling of inferiority. You can learn to overcome that weakness and therapy is an excellent place to do it. The sweetness and kindness you offer the world should be a gift. There should be no strings attached or expectations of reciprocity.