Q. I am actually seeking help for my 13 year old son. My son is a sweet, caring boy. But has a very hard time making friends at school. The few he has had in the past has moved away. He has different interests than most boys. He really has no interest in sports, which most boys his age are very interested in. I can tell he has been depressed about it lately. He gets very down especially when my 14 year old daughter goes out with a large group of teenagers to the movies or pizza parlor. He sits with a few kids at lunch, but has no real connection to them, he says he just sits with them so he’ll have someone to sit with. I figured that being in band, the class being so large that he would fit in there, but still, no real friendships. Please, any suggestions would be helpful or any good books that could help us also. We do alot together as a family so I think that has kept him from getting overly down.
A. At this age (13), he is going through the process of finding his own identity and who he is as a person. It may take him a while to find out what he wants to do and which people he wants as friends. He needs the opportunity to meet varied people and you should encourage him to become involved in all sorts of different activities. I think that he is the perfect candidate for counseling. Having a therapist that he could speak to and rely on, one that is outside of the family could be a great relief to his possible feelings of isolation.