Q. My husband hates his mother with a passion I’ve never seen before. He is 56 & she is 83 yrs old. He said he hated her his entire life. She came from a very poor childhood & had little to no manners. She never ate so she’s always been around 95 pounds. She had hearing problems when he was a child but would not wear a hearing aid. His father had no respect for his mother at all & used to laugh at her all the time. So…I guess my question would be why does he hate his mother..ps…he’s an only child! One more thing, we will be married 20 yrs in 8/05. When we first got married he used to secretly cross-dress in my clothing….would that mean he was/is a transvestite. He’s also addicted to illegal susbstances! Any help you can give me would be wonderful! PS…..I have bi=polar, depressiion, did & borderline personality disorder…which is under good control!

A. It is impossible to say what happened in his childhood. Perhaps something occurred at home with his mother; neglect, abuse but that is all conjecture. If his judgment is good in other areas of his life then we cannot assume that his judgment is incorrect when it comes to his mother. Not all parents are kind and loving. Some can be cruel and abusive. If he is satisfied with his relationship with his mother, or lack there of, then you have to be satisfied too.

Cross dressing is very common. Most cross dressers are very much heterosexual. If I were you, I would encourage him to seek help for his drug problems.