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Wanting to marry boyfriend at 16

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Q. To the point, I’ve been dating my BF for about a year. Everything is always great, with one eye-opener to keep us down-to-earth. Nothing has died down, and things are still as strong as they were in the start. We have remained abstinent and are doing well. The thing is, I keep daydreaming, thinking of, and literally dreaming of a future with him…as his wife. I sometimes have dreams that tell events of the future–soothsaying, as it is called. I wonder alot if this is just young foolishness or if it could be another of my “visions”. As the thoughts became more frequent, it wasn’t just a curiosity. I began to realize that I WANT to be his wife. But I know that at this age, neither of us are ready. (he’s 18, I’m 16) Another thing that contibutes to this wish is the fact that we are legally old enough to marry. I have even told him about these daydreams, and told him that they confuse and frighten me because I worry that I may get carried away with it. He told me that he, too, had envisioned such a future, “With my smiling face” as he put it. He even told me that had we been older when we met (say, 5 years), that he would have proposed to me a long time ago. (I also have imagined children, but I don’t want that until a long time from now.) So many things are confusing me, and I would really appreciate your opinion.

Wanting to marry boyfriend at 16

Answered by on -

A.

The longer you wait, the longer you have to mature, to experience life and to find out what it is really important for you in life. There is one thing you can be sure of; you will change dramatically between the ages of 16 to 20. There are great advantages to developing a wider experiential base. Committing yourself so early, means you risk closing doors, opportunities and relationships that could have been the correct course for you. My advice is to wait, do not hurry to get married, keep an open mind and gain more life experience before making huge life decisions.

Wanting to marry boyfriend at 16

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Wanting to marry boyfriend at 16. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 25, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2005/03/28/wanting-to-marry-boyfriend-at-16/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.