Q. My older sister has been diagnosed with depression and is currently on medication. my dad seems to need it but as far as i know has never taken it. My freshman year of high school i had major weight problems and had anorexia. i’m now overweight. i’ve started exercising and eat healthy to handle things the right way, but i’m now a very negative person. nearly every night i need to turn on the radio because every time i hear a plane i fear it will crash into my room. i fear getting in car crashes. i’ve had recurrent dreams of getting shot, strangled, stabbed, etc. i would consider myself a loner. i will feel okay and be in a good mood but find I get upset quickly. sometimes it’s like i have to force myself into a good mood. I think about death a lot and think about hurting myself whenever i feel i’ve lost control. this causes many arguments with my boyfriend because i often get on the offensive side. its as though i suspect that someone’s always there to hurt me. because of this i have a hard time making friends. when situations don’t go well, I tend to blame myself. i can’t stand seeing other people sad..because, well, then I blame myself. are these problems all things i need to handle on my own..in a sense just grow up? I’m concerned I’m following my sister’s steps.

A. Based on what you have written, I would recommend that you seek counseling. You are having unrealistic fears and what you are experiencing is affecting your relationship with your boyfriend. Nothing should be affecting your relationship with your boyfriend other than the actions and behavior of your boyfriend. You should get help before this causes more generalized life problems.