Q. I know that this is not real. That said, my daughter is in the other room asleep after surgery yesterday and vicodin etc today. In my mind I know she is dead and when I open the door I will find it. I know it’s not real, why does my mind do this? When she was a baby one night I woke up and she was lying next to me in a diaper and icecold. Temp had dropped and I just know she was dead so I turned on the light and moved her and she woke and nursed and I warmed her up. I have other kids and similar stories. WHY?

A. It can’t be both raining and not raining outside at the same time. You can’t believe that your daughter is both dead and not dead at the same time. These thoughts/ fantasies are based on a deep fear you have about your child dying. Try not to give life to these fears and most certainly don’t allow yourself to give validity to thoughts that you know are completely false. You need to challenge every incorrect thought that you have. You need to focus on the fact that your child is not dead and that to think so is completely illogical and defies reality. If you can not stop this on your own then you should seek the help of a therapist.