Welcome back to the Grohol community update. As membership continues to grow, I would like to report on a category of the forums that I haven't said much about until now. If you have never checked out the Distractions category, you might want to do so in the near future.
There are five separate forums that make up the Distractions category. Announcements, Classified and Job Postings, Recipes and Healthy Living and Pets, Plants, Music, Hobbies and Other Fun Things. Last but not least is the Question of the Week forum. Doc John frequently posts thought-provoking questions for members in the Question of the Week Forum. Here are some excerpts that may entice you to investigate this forum.
One of Doc John's first questions was, "What is your favorite/best coping mechanism?" This question drew a good number of replies which discussed a variety of coping mechanisms. According to Moderator Nerak, "I think for me my coping mechanisms are my hubby, journaling and my therapist. Also, I can add coming to this board and chatting with the new friends I have made here."
Member ktp said, "sleeping is my favorite way to forget. Coping skills I have none. I just stuff it down until it boils over and then oh boy is it ever bad." Fayerody said, "being greeted by my pack of beasts and then putting on my cowgirl pajamas and turning on the computer and listening to music while Fayeroe gives me kisses ..and bird-watching in the backyard." LMo stated that, "My best coping mechanism is to tackle the problem and not to let it get any further out of control." Nothemama8 said, "Mine is pure and simple, but not the best. I have a big hissy fit and end up crying. It gets me a lot of attention and hugs, then, I'm good for a while. People tend to see what I need here when I do this, I do need to find a better way."
Another question posed by Doc John in the Question of the Week forum was, "What are you most afraid of?" Inkblot said, "I think my biggest fear might be myself. Fear of expressing my emotions, being seen with emotions. Fear of not being in control of myself, my emotions or my life." 2b1better had this to say, "My biggest fear is not being good enough. I'm afraid when in a friendship that I won't be a good enough friend-or at a job I won't be a good enough worker, and I even fear I'm not a good enough mom, sister and daughter. Gee, I'm even afraid I'm not a good enough client to my therapist."
Replies to the most recent question in the Question of the Week forum are really food for thought. Doc John's question was, "How easily do you trust?" _Sky made this reply, "I grew up being a very trusting person (and trustworthy, btw.) The bounce-back demeanor I carried remains awesome to me now .kind of the Pollyanna attitude? I notice that it developed in my teen years, into the, 'I trust you - and everyone - This much unless you do something to deserve more, or less, and that depends upon you .' When my injury occurred, the PTSD immediately changed this to, "no one is trustworthy'. It is a daily battle, even within the relationship with my psychologist of over 15 years."
Hope4me2 said, "My therapist would love to see my post to this one. I do not trust anyone. As a child I trusted anyone and everyone and looked up to adults. But they all ended up hurting me and abusing me and things changed for me. I shut my feelings down and would never let myself trust anyone again." 2b1better replied, "This question is a very difficult one for me. I keep people at arm's length at best-and tend to lose trust in them the closer they become. I find myself questioning their motives and sincerity. Trust is hard for me-but I am presently working on this through therapy."
TgrsPurr had a very heartfelt reply saying, "No, I'm not a trusting person. But, I'm deceitful about it. What I mean is, I am an open and friendly person, but only to a point. I "appear" trusting because I am so friendly. But they never get far. My conversation is always geared toward them, I mean, about them and not me. I will just make jokes about me or my life or my situation when they try to get too personal. I've been hurt so deeply and so harshly so many times .this is the best I can do right now. But, on the upside, I've developed a loving, close, personal and trusting relationship with someone I've found to be extraordinary and special. I trust this person implicitly with everything about myself. I trust this person with my love and my whole heart. It's been a long time since I've been able to be this free with my trust issues and for this I'm eternally grateful."
The Question of the Week forum is different than other forums in that posters generally don't reply to each other but only reply to the questioner. Most of us take our time and give a lot of thought to our answers. Doc John's questions can cause us to take a deeper look at ourselves. The forum is a good place to visit if you are interested in learning more about members' thoughts and feelings. I hope you have enjoyed this change of pace and I look forward to bending your ear next month.
Susan J. King (aka "Ozzie") is a retired Mother of four. At one time she was the Office Manager of the local newspaper where she wrote articles and poems as well as doing page layout and typesetting. She has been a moderator at PsychCentral.com for approximately one year.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Apr 2005
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
-- Orson Welles