Rejection from a college is not the end of the world. Yes, the information about who got accepted and who got rejected goes through the high school like wildfire. And there are always the competitive types who will feel somehow superior because they lucked out and you didn’t. But rejection from a college, or even several colleges, is not the end of the world. The way you handle a rejection will have an influence on how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Although it may be hard to see it at first, sometimes having to alter a plan is a gift. Keep things in perspective and focus on what you want to do next.
Not getting into your first choice does not necessarily mean that you weren’t academically qualified. There are many reasons that a school may not accept you even if you have the grades, the good resume, and the desire to be there. Sometimes the school is balancing their freshman class by the region you come from, by expected major, or by needs of a team. You may fit the academic profile but you may not meet their needs for a diversified class. Often, it comes down to there only being so many slots with too many qualified students to take them all. At that point, the admissions staff had to make tough calls. Yes, you ended up in the rejected pile but not because you weren’t qualified.
Not getting into the school you wanted is not a judgment on your character. Schools get many more applications than they can accept. Many schools have done away with an interview as part of the admissions process. Admissions staff only know you through the paper in your file — which may or may not really represent who you are. If you know yourself to be a good person and a serious student, you don’t need to take a rejection personally.
Money really does matter. You’ve had your heart set on School X but you got a much better financial package from School Y or at least you think you did. Financial aid packages are confusing. It isn’t the total cost of the school that matters. It’s how much you and your family are expected to actually pay. Scholarships, grants, loans and work-study all make up the final financial picture.
Make sure you are making an accurate comparison among the schools that accepted you. Remember that loans may be part of the financial “aid” but they will have to be paid back. A work-study allowance may look great but if you’re someone who has trouble balancing work and school, maybe it’s not really helpful. A difference of “only” $3000 between two schools may not look like much when you are excited about the higher priced campus but that $3000 times 4 years is a $12,000 difference. Add the interest over the number of years it will take you to pay it back and it adds up fast. Will you really get a better education for that much more financial strain?
Keep it in perspective. Four years from now, all this stress about college admission will be a hazy memory. Whichever school accepts you, whichever school you choose, you will make friends, learn a great deal, explore opportunities and get yourself ready to launch into the world. College, whichever college gets to have you, is what you decide to make it. So relax. You have at least four years before you get to do this all over again — with either graduate school applications or the search for that first big job.
Hartwell-Walker, M. (2007). Waiting for College Acceptance Letters. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 11, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/waiting-for-college-acceptance-letters/000927
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jan 2013
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.