I have now been on roughly a month’s worth of Match.com dates. None of them was completely awful, but some were definitely better than others.
Date One: The Liquid Hater
I started with a man I am calling the “Liquid Hater.” This is a man who not only does not drink alcohol, but he dislikes drinking liquids in general. I knew this before I went out with him and I thought it was really odd. However, I didn’t see it as a reason not to meet this man at all.
I met the Liquid Hater at a coffee shop by my house. Of course the liquid hater does not drink coffee, but if you are not meeting someone at a bar or a coffeehouse, where are you supposed to meet them for the first time? It’s not like you want a stranger coming to your house and if the weather is bad, you can’t hang around outside.
The evening started out poorly when I ordered a pot of tea and the liquid hater bought himself a bottle of water. At a coffeehouse with dozens of different teas, coffees, sodas, and iced beverages, who orders water? Duh, someone who hates beverages. This ordering choice led to me asking many questions about his likes and dislikes. It turned out that the Liquid Hater did like juice, but wouldn’t let himself drink it because it has too much sugar. Occasionally, the Liquid Hater enjoys a milkshake, but that’s pushing it. As the Liquid Hater was explaining his sensitivities to caffeine, I ventured a guess. I asked him, “you don’t like to take medicine either, do you?” The answer was no, he does not like to take medicine.
It turns out that although he was very nice, this man was wholesome to the core. He did not drink alcohol, disliked medicine, and disdained caffeine. I quite enjoy alcohol and caffeine, and have no aversion to taking medicine when I need to. At this point, I became a bit of a jerk and started asking questions I already knew the answers to. As I suspected, the Liquid Hater had never even smoked a cigarette and was uncomfortable in bars. As nice as this man was, I cut this date as short as possible. The Liquid Hater wigged me out a bit.
Date Two: Barry One
The day I was supposed to go out with Barry One, the weather was predicted to be sunny and warm. We decided we would grab a coffee and go for a walk.
I was running late to meet Barry One and made him stand around and wait for me for 15 minutes. When I finally got to the coffeeshop, he had a beverage in his hand. This made me sigh in relief a bit. Barry One was not a freak about beverages.
Barry One and I walked to a park where we sat and talked for a while. He had interesting things to say about different places he had lived and jobs he had held. I liked that Barry One had done a lot of random things. We had a good time talking and Barry One asked me if I wanted to get dinner.
We went to eat at a Thai restaurant and our conversation continued to be great. Dinner turned into drinks at a nearby bar. We lingered over our beers and sat closer and closer to each other. As the night drew to a close, we decided to leave the bar and walk around. It was late at this point, so Barry One and I parted ways at the park we had been at earlier in the evening. Barry One told me he had had a great time and gave me a quick kiss. We both said we wanted to go out again.
I went out with Barry One again the following Wednesday. We met at a sandwich shop near where I work. We ate, then went to a bowling alley. It was a fun night, but I found that interacting with Barry One took some work. When I am with some people, I am able to hold conversations effortlessly. When talking with Barry One, it took some effort. Regardless, when Barry One walked me to my car, I agreed to go out with him again. Everything seemed fine, but when he kissed me, Barry One did not take his hands out of his coat pockets. I found this strange.
The day before I was supposed to see Barry One again, I called him to make plans. I got his voice mail and left a message. He called me back when I was unable to answer the phone. When I listened to his voice mail, he explained that he had decided to go away for the weekend. He said that if I didn’t call him back that day, he would call me the following day. As Barry One was the person to cancel plans, I felt that it was on him to call me, so I did not return his call. He never called me again. I never called him again. We have not spoken since the night we went bowling and he kissed me with his hands in his pockets. I can’t say that this bothers me very much.
Date Three: Barry Two
Barry Two’s first name is not Barry. His last name is Barry. There was overlap between my dates with Barry One and Barry Two and it amused me that both shared the same name – one as a first name, one as a last name. This is how these men became “Barry One” and “Barry Two.”
I have now been out with Barry Two three times. I like him. He is definitely the winner of this crop of Match.com men.
The weather was once again predicted to be good the night I met Barry Two. We decided to meet outside so we could spend some time outdoors. Barry Two and I sat on a bench and talked for a while, then we got some pizza. After pizza, we got some tea. After we got tea, Barry Two and I returned to the original bench and talked some more. It was fun and easy to hang around with him.
Barry Two did not kiss me at the end of our first date. He did, however, ask me if I wanted to go out again. I saw Barry Two again the following week and we had another good date. Barry Two and I seemed to share similar senses of humor. This is something I have had difficulty finding with most men, so I highly appreciate it.
My third date with Barry Two was a long one. We went for a long walk, then went to dinner, then got a cup of coffee. It was another fun, easy date and I had a good time. I am scheduled to see Barry Two again this weekend. He is the by far the best of these three Match.com men and I am curious to see how dating him unfolds!
Goldstein, S. (2009). Three Men, One Month: The Match.com Journey Continues. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 13, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/three-men-one-month-the-matchcom-journey-continues/0002007
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jan 2013
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