I’d had depression in past years, but in May 1999 I became very assertive, afraid of no one, things seemed clear that were never clear before, I was determined to fix everything that was wrong in my life and I ended up in the hospital and diagnosed as bipolar.

Before I actually went to the hospital, I woke up from a short sleep, thought a saw beautiful blue lights twinkling downward, instantly I thought it was God trying to tell me something. I jumped up running around like I had to know what he was trying to tell me. My husband could not control me, he called his family, as they arrived I had stripped to nothing and said clothes don’t matter anymore. I thought the world was ending. I had to have my minister come to my house and he was quite puzzled.

My daughter watched as if it were a horror movie. I didn’t want to get in the rescue squad; they told me it would take me to where I needed to go. I thought that meant heaven. Needless to say I am on lithium now, and welbutrin and regularly see my doctor.

Since I was diagnosed as bipolar, my mother died, my dog was run over and nearly died, I lost my job as church pianist, I have to sell my house, my cat was lost, and numerous other stressful things have happened. I have online friends that help me a lot. I wake up in the morning and wonder, “Is this really my life?” Thank God there is lithium and a lot of hope for the future. I am taking it one day at a time. Thank you for listening to my story.